You guys, I just ordered a bridesmaid’s dress. Not because it’s anything that was remotely on my list of things to have to get, but because, yes, at 43, I am officially a bridesmaid! At first, I will admit I was taken off guard that my friend asked me to be in her wedding, but once it sank in, I actually got excited about it for a few reasons. One: I LOVE a wedding. I mean LOVE. In my former life I think I was a wedding planner because there’s not one aspect of a wedding (or a party for that matter) that I don’t enjoy. I’m a details girl, I make lists and love to look at magazines and websites, plan showers, obsess over flowers…I live for that shit. Two: I love to get dressed up, for any occasion. Pretty dresses, jewelry, shoes, bags, hair and makeup…all fun stuff if you ask me. Three: weddings usually entail an overnight or weekend away. And if you’re me, you NEVER take your children to a wedding because, and I speak from experience, you’re on the clock and to be honest, I don’t want to be on the clock at a wedding. I want to have fun, dance, drink, eat cake and enjoy some alone time with my husband – maybe reminisce about our wedding day oh so long ago. So it’s basically an excuse to not have kids for a night or two and I have zero guilt about it.
The actual real reason why I’m excited to be a bridesmaid (for the LAST time) is that I love my friend with my whole heart and I’m so happy she found her person. She is one of the funniest people I know, without trying to be. We genuinely laugh from our guts when we’re together. From the minute we met we were friends and even though we don’t see one another every day like we did when we worked together, it doesn’t matter. She’s on my team and I’m on hers, no questions asked. She gets it, she gets me and she gets our friendship. She deserves this time. She deserves this happiness. I will gladly stand up for her any day of the week, in any location and celebrate her (and her fiance’ ain’t bad either!).
Marriage is a big commitment as we all know. It’s hard. It’s work. It’s more house repair and kid vomit verses hearts and flowers. That’s just how it goes. It’s like anything else, once the outer shine fades, you’re left with the surface and sometimes the surface has cracks and bumps. Sometimes they’re big and hard to get through and sometimes they’re a blip on the radar. I respect people who make a go of it, whether it’s “official” or not, because believe you me, I know a lot of people who aren’t “married” but have a marriage. It’s one of the most difficult things you will ever do and yet one of the most rewarding. It will stand the test of time as long as you treat it as such. It requires compassion, understanding, trust, communication, love, truth, passion, disagreement, consideration, independence and so much more. It has no face, it has no gender, it’s what you make it. Make it great. Make it yours. Make it legal, or don’t. That’s the beauty of a true marriage…not the paper…not the party…not the dress or the rings…it’s the individuals making the commitment as a couple, choosing to make the marriage.
And over the summer, on what I’m sure will be a gorgeous day, I’ll be wearing my bridesmaid dress (hopefully after it needs to be altered down a size after all this gym going I’m doing), standing up for two people who I love dearly, supporting their marriage and being thankful for mine.