Happy Mother’s Day!
I know this post is late and a long time coming but to say I’ve been sitting on my ass doing nothing would be total false advertising (this time). I was marveling to my husband a few days ago that life has certainly thrown us a few curve balls as of late and the only way to respond to them is to try to knock them out of the park so to speak…except in my case I’m merely a bystander, I have zero control of any of it which for me is frustrating and infuriating. I’m a fixer, it’s what I do. I organize, I plan, I manage, I execute and I fix stuff. Unfortunately, I can’t fix broken hearts. And by broken, I don’t mean sad broken, I mean not working properly broken. I’m back in Florida with my trusty 3 year old sidekick, here to help with my Mom who is on the mend from an unexpected heart surgery. My 9 year old sidekick is back in NY with my husband because we don’t know how long I’ll be away and he can’t miss school. It’s the first time I’ve been without him on Mother’s Day and I’ve been a bag of mixed emotion all day. Sad that I can’t be with both of my boys and at the same time, grateful that I CAN be with my Mom today. I’ve been teary and jokey, quiet and boisterous.
I’ve been reflective. Sitting in the hospital room with my mom and some friends earlier today, she was reminiscing about how we used to celebrate Mother’s Day when I was a child. My brother and I would make her breakfast in bed, which would consist of scrambled eggs (cold by the time we got them to her), toast and juice..I’m sure totally gross but she would eat every bite and marvel at how delicious it was. We would make her cards and give her trinkets and she would make a big fuss over it all. We would go to my grandparent’s for dinner. As we got older my Mom would be the one hosting the dinners and our home would be filled with family and friends, there would be tons of food and a lot of laughter, just like every other holiday. I’m so thankful for those memories. I’m grateful that there will be more to celebrate with her because she’s one of the strongest women I know. She’s a fighter, and she will be up and running (or fast walking) in no time.
I’ve been thinking of a friend of mine who’s son was involved in an accident and he’s currently fighting for his life. He’s in college, he’s got such a bright future ahead of him and now all of that has been derailed. I haven’t had a chance to speak to her, I know she’s in a living hell right now. I pray for her and her family that this horrible tragedy will turn out in their favor. As mother’s our worst fear is that our children will get hurt or sick, it’s not something I dwell on, but it’s something I am aware of. We want to protect them forever and yet we know that’s not how it works. We hope we’re doing the right stuff, making the right decisions, allowing them their freedoms yet inside our heartstrings are being yanked in every direction imaginable.
The magnitude of love I have for my children is so great I can’t put it into words. They are my everything. They drive me nuts, they make me laugh, cry, yell and marvel. I am in awe of the human beings they are. I am eternally grateful to have such a loving, caring, kind role model in my mother. I am beyond thankful for the privilege of being a mother to 2 crazy wonderful boys. I am indebted to the women who surround me every day for their wisdom, kindness, strength, support and encouragement. I’m a lot of things – daughter, wife, friend, sister, but the most important of all of them is Mom. I hope you all spent your day appreciating the Mother’s you were blessed with and I hope you were appreciated by the ones who call you Mom.