So there’s a video going around of Kelly Clarkson killing it on American Idol last night. It’s been a long while since I’ve watched the show, but I was a fan during the first few seasons and I especially like Kelly because she seems so real to me. She pulls no punches and says it like it is – and I for one appreciate it, especially in the world she lives and works in. While I was driving the boys to school this morning, we were flipping through the radio stations and stopped at Z-100. Elvis Duran, the radio host was talking about Kelly’s performance and the meaning behind the new song she sang. “Piece by Piece” is about her father abandoning her when she was just six years old and her ability to find someone who could pick up the pieces and help her find love as an adult – her husband and the father of her children. To top it off, while I was listening, one of the other radio personalities from the morning show, Greg T started talking about his similar experience as a child (queue the waterworks!). He said that his experience made him want to be the best father he could be to his children, and he cautioned the listeners about making the choice to be a parent and being ready to take on the huge responsibility. He said, don’t do it if you’re not going to be present. I was a blubbering mess when it was all over because as a mother, I can’t even fathom the idea of choosing to not be with my children.

This lead me to thinking about a conversation I had the other night with 2 of my girlfriends. One is a mom of 2 teenagers and the other is contemplating embarking on the ride we call parenthood. The discussion was about knowing when you’re ready to have kids..BWWWAHAHAHAHA! I almost spit out my drink at that one!! Never! was my quick reply. You’re never ready to have kids. There will always be an “obstacle” in your way. Not enough money (or so you think), not enough time, work obligations, social obligations, fear, childhood issues (see above), etc. I remember when we found out I was pregnant with our first. I was 32 years old and had been married for 4 years…and I STILL reacted like a surprised teenager. “What are we going to do?” was what I said to my husband, as I was shaking like a leaf holding the positive test (the 3rd one I had taken in the span of 5 minutes just to make sure). He was like “what do you mean? Have a baby”. He made it sound so simple and yet my mind was immediately going to the “obstacles”. It took me a little while to get used to the idea of bringing a human into the world, which I think is a pretty common reaction. You wonder what kind of parent you’ll be, if you’ll love it enough, if the world is a safe enough place. You wonder what kind of personality your child will have, will it be healthy and what kind of parent your partner will be. There are so many “what if’s” during the process and they don’t stop when the baby arrives. Every day is a new what if…

I can empathize with my friend, all the wondering and all the questions. She and I are a lot alike in that we’re both planners and we want to know what to expect out of every situation. We explained¬†to her that along with doing your best to raise your kids you’re also in a sense raising yourself. You can say all you want when you’re pregnant, there’s a lot of “I would never” or “this is how I’m gonna do it” that happens before baby comes. Most of that goes right out the window because in the beginning, you’re just trying to make it through the day. Some days are better than others. The message I wanted her to hear is that you’ll second guess a lot of things, (especially when it comes to your children), but the most surprising thing is that from the moment you lay eyes on your baby, you probably won’t be questioning if it was the right thing to do.

Because now there’s another what if to think about…

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Get in on the Action!

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news, updates and program releases!

You have Successfully Subscribed!