You guys…I’m not normally a glass is half empty kinda girl…but the last few days have been kinda sucky. I know sucky for me would probably be someone else’s bliss, but still, I rarely have these days so I’m wallowing for a minute.

It’s hard. Harder than I thought it would be. What you ask? Well, all of it…

Staying home

Not working

Money vigilance

Everyday junk that’s fallen in my lap since I’m not working

Scheduling

Looking for a job

Networking

Finding a guy to deliver firewood for the winter

Taking all these freaking career transition webinars

Updating resumes

Writing cover letters

Creating a personal Marketing Plan (what the FUCK??)

The witching hour (you know, that time in your house that everything goes to shit, in mine it’s between 7-9 pm) and yes, there will be a separate post about this topic soon.

Even though I’m home alone most days, finding time for me isn’t happening

I could continue the list but I think you get the gist. Oh, wait, and it’s only the middle of November and it’s FREEZING outside. Not like, oh, it’s cold…it’s FREEZING. If this is any indication as to how the winter is going to play out, we’re screwed.

On the flip side, yes, I know I’m lucky. I have my health, my family, 2 amazing kids (most of the time), a roof over my head and my bills are paid. I have NOTHING to complain about, so why am I in such a slump? Why do I feel like the world is closing in and I can’t find my place? Why am I over thinking every single thing I’m doing? Is it because my bday is right around the corner? I’ve never had an issue with age… Is it because I spend a lot of time working on trying to find a job and I still have no idea what I want to do? I’m in mini panic mode and I hate.

I know this mood won’t last. This too shall pass. It will all be ok. These are things I tell my kids, my friends, my family whenever they’re looking for counsel. I think I just need to be a little more patient and that too, is hard for me. Waiting is a game I don’t like to play. But like my mother tells me…everything happens for a reason. Right?

 

 

 

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